Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Welcome To The Chris Yambar Show! 2.0
Behold Citizens. I have returned once again to the Blog Zone. I am here because many of you have expressed the need for solid direction and purpose in life and have asked me to provide it for you.
"What is the meaning of life?"
"Why am I so full of fear when I watch the News?"
"Will things ever get better for me or am I doomed to stay trapped in this hellish nightmare I jokingly call living?"
"Is it wrong as white man to watch COPS and Judge Joe Brown and laugh out loud?"
"Will they ever stop making holiday shows where someone has to save Christmas?"
"Is the age of reason and invention only motivated by a quick money grab updating of what is already here?"
"Is this enough salt to put down on the front walk or will some stupid idiot still manage to find a way to fall on their ass?"
"What's up with the Red Hulk?"
"Will Lost ever get to the point or is it a remake of The Prisoner?"
"Will Levi Krause ever leave his rotting, skunk-stinking, zombie-trailer and venture out to conventions to meet his fans or will he remain an intellectual, cigarette smoking, elitist snob?"
"How does the fat guy on Lost stay so damn fat when he's on the island?"
"Is this really what it sounds like when doves cry?"
I have the answers to all of these questions and many more.
But this really isn't about YOU is it? No it isn't. It's about what I think. What about my feelings, needs and desires? My obsessions and long-winded ponifications? My numerous collections of things that have little or no value in the eyes of those who will sell it off in a garage sale for pennies on the dollar when I am dead? My endless typos and misspellings? In 2010 it is MY chance to vent, fella.
Y'know, a lot of you have asked me about the true nature of The Chris Yambar Show. It's a mindset that helps me to realize that for this single magic moment I am the person in charge of who I am and what I accomplish. I am responsible for what I do, for what I create and what stands in the eyes of the world in my name. It also helps me to treat others who come my way as if they were my special guests - guest stars, if you will. There is no net on my show. Only danger and possibility. And coffee. Do I have answers to all the questions of life? Yes. Should I just give them out to everyone who asks? Nope. Only those who prove to seek for wisdom shall find it ...and if they are truly blessed, Wisdom will find them.
I am content with finding cognitive answers, not in trying to exist in an endless swirling black hole of important questions.
Random News: starting THIS weekend I will begin posting 2 new single-panel comics = FRESH FISH and B.S. The images will always stay the same but the captions will always change. How far can I take these captions? I will endeavor to be relentless. In time I may even release collected trades and T-Shirts. Perhaps a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.
In all fairness here are a few answers for you: "Yes." "No" "She's just not that into you, man." "Jesus Christ." "Paul Stanley." "Chocolate" "Spin again." "Lower, please." "Because Lost is a complete waste of precious life." "Yes, Virginia. There is a Chris Yambar." (You provide the questions. I'm not going to do all the work here!)