Saturday, November 6, 2010


Hello, America. I know you are out there.

Some of you are hedging at work just like our officials are in Washington. The only difference is that they get paid hundreds of dollars for each smoke break they sneak. Instead of shooting zombies on their computers with the speakers down so the boss won't hear, they are keeping young soldiers in harm's way in foreign countries who clearly don't want them there. Each step they take could trigger an explosion that could blow them limb from limb. A handful of seasoned high-tech black ops would have taken care of our situations, but we've decided to put high school- and college-age kids into the meat grinder instead. Vietnam taught us nothing. "More brains" indeed.

Right now you're trying to keep your children in new school clothes while the elected are trying to find out how to get hookers out of theirs. With your money. You don't even get a DVD of it. Only the news people get to see that footage... and show it for ratings when the time is right.

Social Security has been robbed by "borrowers" that have no intention of ever paying it back. Now they want to cut those who want to use their supplemental nest egg out of the picture completely. The only reason why this system has problems today is because it's been plundered for decades.

Our elected officials actually legitimized known corporate, banking and Wall Street thieves who admitted outright to swindling American citizens out of their life savings and homes. When they were caught red-handed, an act that would have continued to this very day if not for the whistle blowers, they were bailed out with more of your savings... with more of your money. They didn't even ask us if we wanted to do it. Or our children. This is true terrorist activity.

Hey! Let's increase taxes on the wealthy who actually lived the American dream by seizing opportunity and sweating to obtain success. (Face it. You're jealous.) This way we can use their money to keep the work dodgers comfy in bed until 3PM each day when it's time to buy more party supplies. Providing assistance to the downtrodden is one thing. Creating a society of deadbeat grifters is another. They can't even pull their pants up. Who pays for the cell phone apps for that gang of bottom feeders? Oh, I'm sorry. Those people are "entitled." My bad.

Note: A no-loopholes flat tax for every American, a three-cents-on-the-dollar service tax on all consumer goods purchased, and a 50% import tax increase on all American-owned companies who have taken their business beyond the American borders may be some quick ways to erase the national debt; do away with the IRS and bring jobs back to the USA. Incentive works both ways. Food for thought. Radical? Sure. Got a better plan? Call your elected nut job in Washington and tell him about it.

With our system foreigners can come to America and find a way to make a solid living and even send money home to help their families overseas. People born here need help to sit around and bitch about how their monthly government handout check doesn't provide enough for them to live on. How are they supposed to pay for their new X-Box games, stylin' mall clothes, tricked-out cell phones, nail jobs and hopped-up pimp rides (with expired plates and no insurance). The man is definitely keeping these peeps on the down. That's why they throw trash out the window while driving, too. THE MAN!

I'm constantly amazed at how stupid we've become as Americans. We are supposed to be a beacon of hope to the world. A higher standard. A better way of life. We are becoming a 234-year-old blown experiment. It's very patriotic to wear shirts that remind us that "Freedom Isn't Free." Supporting the soldiers who protect our nation is the right thing to do. I'm all for it. But what about protecting the very internal way of life that they are laying down their lives for? When I see all the self-destructive government and business activity, that's one thing. That's what internal change and progressive revolution are for. When I see a nation of willingly mindless consumers who exist far below their potential in society crying about needing more assistance to party, I get kinda pissed off.

We need to tighten our belts, sacrifice our comfort zones, put less of an emphasis on amusement and entertainment, pick up some trash, get (one, two or three) jobs, make public and personal education a premium, paint the freakin' porch, and stop letting the world that we live in every day become a cesspool of decay and stupidity. When that happens, we'll not only be better and more productive citizens, but we'll also have a voice to call the corruption of our handlers into hardcore accountability. We don't deserve their respect. We don't even respect ourselves. Getting mad at somebody else is always easy. Getting mad at ourselves first, well, that's kinda crazy, yo.

I was going to write something sorta fun but had to make a U-turn along the way to vent a little. Trust me: there's plenty of time and place for smartass political satire and comedy. I'm all about the good times. I'm also all about making the good times "better" again, too. (Shhh! I don't actually think I'll ever get elected as President of the United States even though I'm probably the best looking dude on the bill and would give our grandchildren something to talk about to theirs. I'm not counting myself out either. America may deserve me. I'm just not going to let that stop me from whipping up a batch of smack-down brain food for the zombie masses. Sometimes I bring a steak to the party. Other times I bring a stake. That's my job.)
I love America so much I'd have its baby.

But with the current state of the Union I'm probably more inclined to wear a condom instead.

God Bless America!

I'm CHRIS YAMBAR and I approve this message.

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